Sunday, January 6, 2013

January, 6, 2013
 
 
    Here's another one of my poems I have yet to publish on this site. Another poem contemplating being alone... I like what I've done with this poem... but don't know if it's specific enough or is just a mix of clichés. It's hard to tell. I don't get enough "honest" responses to my work. On here... none at all. So, I only have me to depend on... I guess that's the way it's suppose to be.
 
 
I’m Still Here
                                         
Alone... again tonight. Not unusual.
But somehow the walls seem a bit thicker,
the late evening a tad darker,
and my mood a little muddier than I hoped.
I wish the phone would ring. Even a wrong
number would be comforting. I wish there
was something, some reason to go to bed
before two, three or four in the morning.
Breakfast with a friend, a job interview… hell,
even the landlord dropping by unexpectedly
to fix the toilet (that never stops running)
would be a welcome.... anything to get me
back in touch with a world that appears
to have forgotten... I'm still here.
 
Yes, still here with all these thoughts, memory,
remembering... because there’s nothing to look
forward to... the past clearer than the present...
the future... nonexistent... a thick void...  God
could not fill it. A sinister, midnight rattles at
the window on  the north side of my apartment...
it’s a gentle sound... cat bone purrs on broken screen.
 
I can’t think, begin to write. Ink blotches gathering...
broken leaf-like... festering to a winter’s head inside
my head... my head wishes sleep would drown us all...
unwanted puppies... who whimper darkness... dull
the amber streetlamp screaming from the corner.
 
There’re shadows out there too. Black, skinless things
marching about in metal boots shackled to the thump
of their own misguided footsteps...  shadow-steps...
they make the world ache. I can’t recall dreaming
or waking... or sunlight beating me to consciousness.
I do, however, remember your shadow... against my
shadow... bound to each other... a not unpleasant
way to finally fall asleep... remembering you.
—rrw 11-12-12
 

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