January, 6, 2013
Here's another one of my poems I have yet to publish on this site. Another poem contemplating being alone... I like what I've done with this poem... but don't know if it's specific enough or is just a mix of clichés. It's hard to tell. I don't get enough "honest" responses to my work. On here... none at all. So, I only have me to depend on... I guess that's the way it's suppose to be.
I’m Still
Here
Alone...
again tonight. Not unusual.
But
somehow the walls seem a bit thicker,
the
late evening a tad darker,
and
my mood a little muddier than I hoped.
I
wish the phone would ring. Even a wrong
number
would be comforting. I wish there
was
something, some reason to go to bed
before
two, three or four in the morning.
Breakfast
with a friend, a job interview… hell,
even
the landlord dropping by unexpectedly
to
fix the toilet (that never stops running)
would
be a welcome.... anything to get me
back
in touch with a world that appears
to
have forgotten... I'm still here.
Yes,
still here with all these thoughts, memory,
remembering...
because there’s nothing to look
forward
to... the past clearer than the present...
the
future... nonexistent... a thick void...
God
could
not fill it. A sinister, midnight rattles at
the
window on the north side of my
apartment...
it’s a
gentle sound... cat bone purrs on broken screen.
I
can’t think, begin to write. Ink blotches gathering...
broken leaf-like... festering to a winter’s head inside
broken leaf-like... festering to a winter’s head inside
my
head... my head wishes sleep would drown us all...
unwanted
puppies... who whimper darkness... dull
the
amber streetlamp screaming from the corner.
There’re
shadows out there too. Black, skinless things
marching
about in metal boots shackled to the thump
of
their own misguided footsteps... shadow-steps...
they make
the world ache. I can’t recall dreaming
or waking...
or sunlight beating me to consciousness.
I do,
however, remember your shadow... against my
shadow...
bound to each other... a not unpleasant
way
to finally fall asleep... remembering you.
—rrw
11-12-12
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